#Istandwithcherish

Here is my two cents on the #istandwithcherish saga. I think for me, it's easy to understand how things happen because I have kids, they are all over the place, they give me gray hairs and I am really busy aside from needing to care for them.

Yet, I think this situation can teach us a lot of we would be willing to be teachable. It is not okay to leave your kid anywhere, they are completely dependent on you, they need you to be in reality WITH them, and there are numerous and unfortunate consequences that can happen to them. I think as moms we're are always on this bend to be the very best we can be for EVERYONE, not just our kids. Our family, our friends, our church callings, our community and ourselves.

I think the times when people are making these mistakes, they are on autopilot. They are doing the humdrum of the day or they are in a rush for something or someone else. They are NOT in reality with their kids at that moment. This means that they are thinking of where they should be, where they are going, what project they are goint to do next, etc... I am not a perfect parent at all and have made my fair share of mistakes, but I think the thing that has saved my kids from a mistake like this has been simple routines that I do with them to put myself in reality with them and not my impending projects.

I hold all three of their hands (Ethan holds my hand and Caitlyn holds the other one, Tatum is old enough she doesn't have to, although I like her to) in parking lots, always. I count their heads everytime. When getting out of my car at home, I do the same thing. I make sure I see them all enter my van, and exit it. I make myself, no matter what, be apart of their reality even if I have a pressing need. The times that I am in a rush to go buy something or do something, I still do these routines because they are my #1 priority. I know that if something happens to them, I can never have them back! Small steps can save our children everyday.

Yet, I can totally empathize with Cherish. One time, Tatum was almost hit by a truck pulling out of a driveway when she was almost 2 years old. Someone jumped out in front of the truck, seeing that she had gotten away from me when I was pulling her diaper bag out of the car and they saved her life (It would have happened in less than one minute!). Please remember to count your children everytime you get in your car and out of your car and even as you are leaving a store. Make sure your kids are always holding onto either your arm/hand or purse in parking lots (get them into the habit of always being at your side no matter what). If you have tons of kids, make them hold each others' hands and you hold onto the smallest.

I am not an expert parent, I am just giving you a glimpse into my routine with my kids. I think doing things like this can help all of us to not make mistakes like this. Sometimes it seems inevitable, only we don't want the consequaence to be so dire that we lose our kids.

I think instead of shaming anyone, we could encourage a learning experience.

1. Always be in reality with your kids, especially when entering a vehicle, in a parking lot, exiting a store, entering your vehicle and exiting the vehicle.

2. Hold hands with them all or have them all hold hands with each other always!!

3. Count their heads everytime you get ready to leave to go anywhere (in the van, out of the van, in the store, in the parking lot).

Okay, I am getting off my soapbox. I know inacting routines like this aren't easy, but our kids are worth it!

summer shenanigans

Here are some pics of our swimming festivities.

8

Kaden's Farewell, Surgery, Ethan and Tate's Birthdays

Wow, these last couple of months have been so crazy, but in a great way. My brother was recently called to the Salem, Oregon mission and he is leaving today (which also happens to be Tate's Birthday)! He was set apart last night and there was a huge whirlwind of emotions. The blessing was powerful and profound, but it still couldn't take away the fact that my 19 year old brother would be leaving in the morning for 2 long years. There was a myriad of tears and hugs amongst Kaden, his brothers, grandparents, parents and me. He is so strong emotionally and mentally. I feel that not only is he ready for this, but he will succeed in a huge way while he is gone.

There has been much talk lately about him finding a girl when he gets home. I am excited for it because I will have another sister-in-law (Out of the 6 I already have!!). That means I will have 11 sister-in-laws after all my brothers are married!!!!! :) I can't wait.

Ethan celebrated his 7th birthday recently. He is doing really well with everything and will really miss his teacher and friends. It has been kind of emotional for him because his best friend Landis moved to Hawaii yesterday. His mom became my go-to lady for help with carpooling because we lived right by each other. We alternated the carpooling and it worked out fabulously. I will miss her friendship and seeing Landis' smiling face everyday.

Ethan has already read a couple of small chapter books. He is starting to enjoy it more than he used to and is very helpful. He likes to do chores and asks how he can help me when I do my own. I enjoy seeing how happy helping others makes him. He is also taking a big interest in plant life and learning about different weeds, flowers and trees. He has a cute type of respect for them which is awesome, he hates to pull weeds because he feel like they serve some type of purpose.

Caitlyn is growing up and becoming independent, yet so cute and feisty as always. She is finding more productive ways of communicating instead of screaming to get across her feelings which is nice. She also doesn't mind dressing up and allowing me to dress her a little girly. She calls Ethan "Daba," herself  "Baby" and Tatum "Tate." She likes to count and ride her bike.  It is crazy to think that she will be 3 years old in July!!

 

 

Tatum is doing well. She had some friend issues for a little while at school that I believe really helped to shape her confidence in herself and also helped her to learn to rely on herself. She is reaching an age where peers and friends are so important and she started to make new friends that mesh well with her personality and have her same standards.

She looked at me a couple months ago and said "Mom, what would you say if I wanted to shop off all of my hair?" I told her it would be fine if she would be happy. So the next day, Tate got her hair cut so short. It fits her personality so well and is spunky but nothing too over the top. It is also easier for her to deal with in the morning which I am sure she is happy with.

 

Although the first picture of her is cute, the second one really depicts her personality. She is bold, logical and precise. She really doesn't let anyone get away with treating her poorly and I love that about her. She likes that people think she is a nerd and wears the label proudly. For her birthday on the 13th, she got a Kendama from her uncle Kaden. She also got a Perplexus Epic, a very challenging spherical puzzle/brain twister that she has wanted for a while. Her interests in Pokémon have diminished, although she still collects the cards and enjoys drawing manga characters.

 

Here is a video of her most recent drawing:

 

 

 

Update, November 2014

We are just doing the normal things here in our little home. We did some much needed decorating and finally bought a new sectional which I have wanted for a while. This is haphazard post, but aren't they all?
I have started the kids on a new schedule with chores, homework and hygiene which seems to be working really well to keep them in check. Church is great and I am not looking forward to saying good bye to my kids in valiant 10 when they move up. I have had this calling for a year which is crazy to think about!
Mark and I are doing well and chugging along.
Tatum is doing excellent in school and has her group of friends that she is very close to. Her best friend is a little boy name Trevor who has fire red hair and loves Pokémon just as much as she does.
Ethan has really impressed me this year with his efforts in school especially reading. He seems very motivated to see the end result and he strives very hard.
Little Caitlyn is the same spit fire who keeps me on my toes all day. She likes to talk and jibber jabber.
I am on my last year of schooling and then I will be a certified elementary teacher. Woo hooo!!!

Life is swell and honestly a little boring, so this is our update.

Az Trip+Fair= FUN

Hmmm... where do I start? Well we just got back from my Mom's place in Phoenix. We visited for about 3 1/2 days and it was really fun. My Step Father Kim had surgery for a really serious MRSA infection 2 weeks ago and we wanted to see him also. We went to the Arizona state fair which was way fun, and my daredevil daughter Tatum had to ride the most thrilling rides. Ethan also was able to ride a couple of cool rides as well. The food was greasy and filling and we probably walked a few miles.

I always enjoy being in Mesa and getting to spend time with my mom. Her back yard is really nice and we were able to do smore's and a bbq.



                                                        Fun times in my Mom and Grandma's
                                                                wedding business warehouse.

 

 

At the Children's Museum

 

 

 

Mom with my kids and Elizabeth and Brooklyn

 

I am an LDS Female and I DON'T Want the Priesthood-- This is Why

I have 5  brothers who are all much younger than I am,  and all but one are of age and have the priesthood.  I  can honestly say that I am proud of them for that choice to have the priesthood and that they can exercise those sacred gifts offered and bestowed to them by a loving Father in Heaven. I feel that having the priesthood is a sacred privilege and it should be exercised by those that are worthy to use it when necessary.

I have been reading lately about the Ordain Women movement seizing the hearts of many members. These are  members who want change, hoping that the church will allow women to have the priesthood. When I first heard about this, I was visiting teaching and the women seemed less than pleased with the news of females hoping for the ordination. I am a critical thinker and yes, I thought for a moment about the prospect. I am one who is a convert with an up and down past in the church. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I have not always been a saint and I never proclaim to be.

However, our church is not for saints, it is for sinners who want to become perfect, like our Savior. Anyways, I did some research online about Kate Kelly, the founder of the movement of Ordain Women. She is an educated, driven young woman with crisp dark hair and porcelain features that hide behind a pair of thick rimmed glasses. She is someone that I could see myself looking up to and admiring. Women, especially educated, opinionated women generally like other well educated, opinionated women and in this changing era, they are becoming more and more alpha and demanding  of equality to the max. I know that some people see Kate as a character who is doing all to ignite change and someone who could be easily compared to Rosa Parks and her courage to stand up in the face of segregation by people pushing for the ordaining of women.

I sat back and pondered about this movement for a couple of days and read through the OrdainWomen.Org site and read testimonials of women who now feel empowered by Kate's movement and 'courage'. I was a little surprised to see that the people following her movement are your typical Mormons who do seem to have strong testimonies, love the gospel, the church and its members. Their basis aren't completely unfounded and many of the women are looking for deeper fellowship along with more responsibilities in the church.

However, despite my admiration for their courage, I also had the strong feeling that this development was just not right. It was an eerie feeling that told me that Satan joys in skewing the truth and tweeking it just right so that it seems like it is a harmless endeavor. Ordain Women or namely Kate Kelly has hung on to specific things from the past that give her and others hope that giving the priesthood authority to females could become a huge and possible reality.

In questioning Church policies, aren’t you questioning God?

No. In fact, the challenge to advocate for women’s ordination was articulated by former Church President Gordon B. Hinckley in a 1997 interview with reporter David Ransom. When Ransom asked if the policy on denying priesthood to women could be changed, much like it had for black men, President Hinckley responded, “Yes. But there’s no agitation for that.”
Ordain Women joins a new generation of faithful Mormon women who are rising up and responding to this challenge.

This is a quote taken directly from the Ordain Women website. While I am thankful for the ordinance of black males being able to have the priesthood in the church and the segregation of that being put to rest, I still do not feel in my heart of hearts that it would do our church good to have women take a leap into a new ordinance. This is my opinion and my opinion only, however, I have pondered upon what would happen if this were to be the case. That means that when young women were of the age of 12, they would also be expected have the priesthood. They would have the same fundamental rights as the males their age have.

I have a 10 year old daughter who I can see now feeling confused and I can almost bet you money, she wouldn't want it. Not because she doesn't believe in the gospel, not because she doesn't want to believe in what her Father in Heaven wants, but because it would not feel right. I think I can easily say that there would be many women that would not want it and it has nothing to do with a wavering testimony. Another quote from the Ordain Women website states:

Do most Mormon women want the time commitment and responsibility of ordination?

Mormon women already give countless hours of essential service and have many delegated responsibilities in the Church. As the burden of leadership roles in the church rotates among lay members, the time commitment of most women will not likely change with ordination. However, we believe the satisfaction women experience in service would be enhanced, if they had the institutional authority to define and oversee their responsibilities, and the power of God with them to carry out their sacred duties.

One word that stands out to me the most is satisfaction in this quote. This quote basically states that they are aware that women already have many responsibilities and that the church won't change drastically but that the satisfaction of having the new responsibility is paramount to the movement. I can tell you right now that most of the women who would be given these new set of responsibilities would feel confusion, not satisfaction. Not all women have the same mindset as Kate Kelly and company.

The reason why I do not follow the Ordain Women movement has nothing to do with me succumbing to male dominance or bowing my head as a pregnant and barefoot Mormon wife. It has everything to do with trust and faith. I trust that the leaders of our church will guide us to the right direction no matter what. I believe they are ordained by god to help lead this people in these latter days. I have faith that they will not lead me astray and I know that if the Prophet ever has divine revelation that women should be ordained, I know it is from the hand of God.

I know that Kate Kelly and company have felt ousted by male church authorities, especially while "politely" protesting at this years Priesthood Session saying they felt left out in the cold. I do not sympathize, only because we know and understand that this is how the church is right now and in questioning why they do things, we are essentially questioning God. I know he has his own due time for everything. Sometimes this life is not the time, sometimes later on down the road is the time, no one knows and it is best to just trust and have faith but also be peaceable.

I also feel as hard as it is to explain this, that men were meant to have the priesthood for many reasons and there is nothing wrong with men having distinctly different roles than women. It doesn't make a woman weak to not want the priesthood, it doesn't make her 'stuck in her ways' or a bigot. I know many educated women who work hard with their hands, make lots of money but are also loving, nurturing mothers. This doesn't mean that they want the added responsibility of the priesthood. Having the priesthood will not make women more respected in my opinion.

I enjoy my husband having the responsibility because I believe that this helps him to have empathy and it helps him  to  step outside of the 'man' box. Women are known to be already in tune, empathetic, nurturing, kind hearted and emotional. Men have to work on some of these qualities at times. I think that my husband having the priesthood helps him to be a better man. Not only that, I believe that it helps me to cling to him more. If I had the priesthood would my husband cling to me more? No, he would not. He clings to me because I encourage him. I am his cheerleader, I am what helps him to find reason, I am his coach. I am just as much apart of 'the game' as the player, but just in a different capacity. I am the supporter and the one who helps him to make the best plays.

Women, please know that you are so important in every capacity in the church. You are the coach and cheerleader for your husband. You do not need the priesthood to be a more productive member. I truly believe that behind every good man is a good woman. It is not that you are literally behind or below him, but you are his drive. In fact, I read recently an article from Dr. Laura that states: "Women have more power in a marriage because men are very dependent on feminine approval... By contrast, women get their approval from their mothers, sisters, and girlfriends.  Men are much more emotionally reliant on women than women on men."

I am not slamming the Ordain Women movement, but I am saying that it isn't right, right now if you get my drift. It is against what the plans for our church are at this point. I believe that if we question doctrine as it is right now, we are not questioning the male patriarchy of the church but we are questioning  God's plan as he wants it for the time being. I see that doing this is like a cancer to your own testimony and faith in our leadership and moreover our Father in Heaven if you take part. I am thankful for the way the church works and as simple as just having faith is, we need to be like a little child, meek and submissive to understand the workings of our all knowing Father in Heaven.


-Jennifer

Update

Sheesh. I haven't been around here in quite sometime . We are still doing great and life is strumming along fine. Tatum is 10 now and going into 5th grade next year, Ethan is 6, going into first grade next year and Caitlyn will be 2 next month. I have anywhere from 6 months to a year left of school and then I will be done! I will be a certified teacher :)) Mark is still Landscaping and is doing well in that. I will share some recent pictures of our family so you can see how they have grown and changed.