Since Caitlyn had been sick, I have had more than a soft spot for sick children because it hits so close to home for me. I know what it is like to feel helpless and to pray to give your own life so that your child can live. I know what it is like to lose sleep and not eat because you're wanting to spend every last moment with them comforting them and helping them. I just wish that children or people in general didn't have to suffer in such a way at all. Yes it is apart of life, yes it is apart of a greater plan, this I know. However, accepting it is much more of a challenge to me. It just seems unfair. I have felt guilty in ways that Caitlyn made it when others have passed away from bacterial meningitis. I know many would see this as silly but I think it is natural in a sense. However, there is an overwhelming feeling of gratitude that she is here. Seeing her grow everyday is so worth it.
I am just happy that I have my little girl here with me. She is a blessing and has a fiery spirit that I love and admire.
The day before I had her: 33 weeks and 2 days along
Caitie couple of days old in the NICU. She spent 21 days in there.
The night she was life flighted to the PICU at Primary Children's Hospital in SLC. She was 5 months old.
Her is she is now. Healthy, 14 months old and beautiful in everyway.
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